The farmer had rescued the baby cockatoo after it had fallen from
a tree and landed on the ground in front of his tractor. With no way to
return the baby cockatoo to its nest, the farmer brought it home, fed
it and was now wondering what to do with it. Just then he heard a cackle
from his hen house and hit upon a brilliant idea.
The baby
cockatoo lived in the hen house and quickly learned to mimic the
rooster's crow in the morning, the hen's cackle during the day as she
laid eggs and her cluck while with her chickens. Every night he fluffed
his beautiful white feathers, climbed the roost and settled in beside
the 'other' hens for a good night's rest. He ate with the chickens,
sounded like a chicken (although he could also do a fairly creditable
imitation of the farmer laughing) and walked with the chickens. In fact,
he thought he was a chicken and life as a chicken was good.
Then
one sunny day he wandered a little further from the chicken house than
usual. He saw the farmer's dog streaking towards him and knew he was in
trouble. In his panic he found that he could use his beak and claws to
climb the nearby tree and escape. It was while he was in the tree
checking whether it was safe to return to the ground that he chanced to
glance up in response to a very noisy racket coming from the tall gum
tree next to his. There in the tree were the most beautiful snowy white
birds he had ever seen, they made the most beautiful noise he had ever
heard and... they could fly!!!, "I wonder if I could make that noise?"
So he tried and he could. "I wonder if I could fly?" So he tried... and
he did. He became the world's first flying, screeching chicken to have a
gaggle of cockatoos as his friends.
For many years I pondered the
relationship between my beliefs, reality and the truth. The more I
experienced and saw, the more I came to realize how personal beliefs
were, how easily they could be changed and frequently what little
relationship they had to reality (if in fact there is one).
Beliefs
Beliefs
are convictions you hold to be "true" in life. You were not born with
your beliefs. You have chosen your beliefs. You start with an idea and
the more support it receives, the stronger the belief eventually
becomes. Many of your beliefs are based upon memories of the meanings
you placed on past events. Your brain clumps events into categories and
places the same meaning on a current event of a particular category as
it did for events of that category in the past. These beliefs may no
longer be true or helpful to you as:
-
You saw the past event through your previous filters;
-
Your view of the event was not reality;
-
There were many other meanings you could have placed upon the same event; and
-
You are now a different person with different filters from the one who previously placed a meaning upon the event.
Your
decisions form the cornerstones of your beliefs. First, something
objective happens, and then you make subjective decisions about what to
believe about life based on that experience. Two people can have the
same experience and make very different choices. For example, two
children in the same family could be told by their father they will
never amount to anything. One may decide that, because parents know
everything, the statement is true. This child chooses to believe she
cannot achieve anything of value. Meanwhile, the other child decides to
prove the parent wrong and he goes on to become very successful. Your
present life is a result of all the decisions you have made in the past.
Your
beliefs also provide the boundaries for what you believe is possible.
The bigger you can believe, the bigger you can achieve. For example, if
you believe that you can learn anything, then your experience of life is
going to be very different from someone who believes he/she is not that
smart and has difficulty learning anything new.
Did you realize that Beethoven and Thomas Edison were deaf, Julius Caesar suffered from epilepsy and Charles Dickens was lame?
We have
beliefs that empower us such as:
-
The sun will come up every day;
-
I have a great singing voice;
-
I am a good and loyal friend;
-
I don't indulge in gossip;
-
Flossing my teeth will help stop cavities; and
-
It is safer to stop at red lights.
We also have b
eliefs that hinder or limit our potential in life such as:
-
I find it difficult to learn new things;
-
I am too old to get another job;
-
I don't deserve abundance;
-
I am not worthy of having a loving relationship; and
-
I will never be wealthy.
Although it is initially a
challenging concept, it is possible for you to make choices about your
beliefs. You are the one who created and chose your existing beliefs. As
your beliefs are merely a function of the filters used in your
reticular activating system you can change them.
The power of
belief is beautifully illustrated by the story of an inspirational man,
Roger Bannister. Prior to 6 May 1954, it was generally believed that it
was humanly impossible to run a mile in less than 4 minutes. Then on 6
May 1954, Roger Bannister ran the mile in the time of 3 minutes 59.4
seconds. His race changed the belief people had about what was possible.
Within 12 months of Roger breaking the 4 minute barrier, 37 other
people had done the same thing. The next year an amazing 300 people
broke the barrier. Today, college students routinely run this distance
in less than 4 minutes.
Beliefs That Limit Us In Life
You
are limited in life by what you believe is possible. There are people
with fewer natural talents and greater disadvantages than you who will
achieve more simply because they believe they can.
Beliefs about
yourself become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe you are a
failure you will set yourself unrealistically high standards, then
notice all the times you fail to exceed them. You will put your
successes down to luck and your failures down to you. If you believe in
yourself, you set yourself realistic goals and give yourself credit, you
notice your successes and celebrate your attempts.
For example,
within 2 years of winning Lotto, 80% of people who believe themselves to
be 'poor people' are worse off than before they won Lotto.
It can even be the case that other people's beliefs about what you are capable of can have an impact upon what you achieve.
In
1968 Rosenthal and Jacobson conducted an experiment is U.S school on
self-fulfilling prophecies. They randomly selected children in
classrooms. They then told the teachers in these classrooms that due to
special testing, the performance of these children in the classroom
would increase by the end of the year (there was no basis for this
assertion). At the end of the year, all the children in the classroom
were tested.The teachers "beliefs" about the special children came true.
They had an average IQ increase of more than 10% over the other
children.
Where do your limiting beliefs about yourself and your
abilities come from? They come from constant reinforcement from your
parents, friends, teachers and our own self-talk. Research has shown
that:
-
A parent on average gives 8 lots of criticism to each lot of praise to a child; and
-
95% of children have a negative self-image by the time they are 14.
The
impact that beliefs from your younger years has upon your life is known
as the "baby elephant syndrome" and comes from the way circus elephants
were trained. A baby elephant was attached to a long chain by one of
its ankles and secured to a large spike hammered deep into the ground.
The elephant could not escape. As the elephant grew larger, the circus
kept the same chain on its ankle, and by the time the elephant was fully
grown, only a few links of chain dangling from its ankle were
sufficient to ensure the elephant would not escape. Why? Psychologists
call it 'conditioning'. The elephant was held back by past memories of
when it was too small to escape. Without the memories of its past
conditioning, the elephant would be easily able to escape.
Many
people live with the effects of conditioning from their youth in their
lives. Fortunately, history is also riddled with wonderful counter
examples of people who succeeded and prospered despite being constantly
told by others that they would never amount to anything. The difference
between these people and those who did not prosper came from choosing
not to take on the beliefs that others had about them and their
abilities.
Your ability to change your beliefs in a heartbeat is
illustrated in the following story that was distributed on the Internet
several years ago.
While a woman was waiting for her plane at
London's Heathrow Airport, she purchased a package of English shortbread
cookies. Making her way to a seating area, she carefully arranged her
luggage and was getting settled when a man approached and indicated by
pleasant gesture that he would like to occupy the seat next to her. She
nodded and he sat down.
After a few moments, the woman decided to
eat some of the cookies she had purchased, and she reached down to get
them. As she opened the package, she noticed the man beside her watching
with great interest. She took the first cookie and began to eat when,
to her great surprise, the man reached over, smiling, and took the
second cookie.
The woman ate her cookie in stunned silence,
astonished at the audacity of the man. After a moment she determinedly
reached for the third cookie, but no sooner had she taken it out of the
package than he, smiling and without a word, reached over and took the
fourth. Her indignation rose as back and forth they went in total
silence, she taking a cookie, he taking a cookie, until they reached the
bottom of the package where the final cookie remained.
Without
hesitation, the man reached over and took it, broke it in half and
cheerfully handed her one of the pieces. The woman took her half of the
cookie with an icy glare. After finishing his half, the man stood, still
smiling. With a polite bow, he turned and walked away.
The woman
could not believe that anyone could be so arrogant and rude. She was
extremely flustered and her stomach churning. Making her way back to the
airport gift shop, she picked up a package of antacid. As she opened
her purse to get the money to pay for it, she stopped short.
There in the bag was HER unopened package of shortbread cookies.
As
beliefs are largely unconscious, how do you find out what your beliefs
about yourself are? Easy. By listening to your self-talk.
Your Self-Talk
'That voice inside your head is not the voice of God. It just sounds like it thinks it is." - Cheri Huber
Your
self-talk is your 'voice within'. It is the little voice inside your
head that you hold conversations with. Some of us have an inner cheer
squad and some of us have an inner critic. Here is an example of the
difference.
You make a mistake at work. The inner critic says,
"You fool! You really stuffed up this time." An inner cheer squad says,
"OK. That was a good learning experience. Let's not do that again".
Buy
a small notebook. Every time for the next fortnight that you indulge in
self-talk, jot down what you say to yourself. Don't judge, just notice
what you say to yourself and how often you say it.
Identifying your
current self-talk habits is half the journey towards more positive
self-talk. What have you said to yourself already today? Listen closely
as your self-talk will reveal some unconscious beliefs that will
surprise you.
Your self-talk journey may reveal that you have a
harsh inner critic. The worst critic is the one who lives in your own
mind. You can use the following technique to overcome the inner critic.
Become aware of how you speak to yourself and consciously start taking
steps to change it.
Considering the limiting beliefs that many of
us have about ourselves, we lead some very amazing lives. Imagine what
we could do if we actually had a powerful self-image and self-belief.
